


The Minor Fall, The Major Lift

by StainedGlassDreams



Series: Earth, Please Come In, Over [1]
Category: Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Memory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 14:08:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6808282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StainedGlassDreams/pseuds/StainedGlassDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky doesn't know what to do at this point. All he knows is that he'd give anything to make sure she's okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Minor Fall, The Major Lift

He sat in the waiting room, Clint, Logan, Maria & Steve all talking. He couldn't really be there. Wouldn't hear anything.  
All he can hear right now is the sound of rain hitting the ground & her words.

Pinches the bridge of his nose as he tried to hold back...everything.  
(The back if his mind silently whispering "Those may be the last words she ever says to yo-)

"Bucky."  
He nearly started, Daisy's hand on his shoulder. "I'm going for coffee. You want any?"  
The words went to his eardrums but his mind was a broken mess, letter by letter.  
"No. Thanks." He said, as she gripped his shoulder.  
Heard the doors swing shut & all the eyes on him.  
Steve's respect (God, did he respect it), Logan's reading him (he smelled of fear, he knew it). Clint, not even knowing what to say.  
Natasha meant the same to all of them. But in the darkness of a room, when it was just them, he selfishly thought it was different for him. Always has been, as he ran his fingers through her hair, and her hands on his face.  
He wouldn't be here without her. Clenched his teeth & fist, thinking he could actually feel the Inifinity Formula coursing through him.  
Literally.

Bucky got up, hiding his tremble.  
Saw Logan hold Steve back gently in the corner of his eye. Made a note to Thank him for that.

He wanted to run. He wanted to be in the Raft. 

(He wanted to be at her side.)

Needed somewhere quiet. Where he could scream or kick something, anything.  
Passed a room, the plaque reading "Church Chapel".

The hospital was near empty tonight, Thankfully. Figured no one would be in here, wandering in.  
He was almost right, a small, elderly woman kneeling in front of the tokens of saints. Jewish, Catholic, Muslim.  
The one place in the entire world where you wouldn't be judged by people, baring your soul without any fear.

Bucky sat in the pugh of the back, the only sound being the AC, quietly funneling into the room.  
The woman continued kneeling, unmoving and silent.

Suddenly remembers the last time he was in a church.  
Sometime before he shipped out, his parents wanting to go one last time with him.  
They hardly even went by then, Bucky working a few jobs & living with Steve, so he knew why. The underlying purpose of going that no one said. Went so that no one would have to.  
And whether it was by some miracle, or punishment, he was still here. And all he could think was how he'd do anything right now to trade places with her.  
How quickly he would agree to guarantee she'd be okay.

The AC continued.

He can hear her in his head still, telling him to "take that shit back", but they both knows in the back of his mind that they both would give their souls to make sure the other was safe.  
And tonight, it was his turn.

The woman got up, walking out of the aisle before stopping at Bucky.  
"You know... I've never prayed before. My husband was the pious one" She said. "But...it can't hurt to try, right?" She smiled, walking out.

And there it was. The quiet.  
Sits there, remembering when he was a kid.  
"This is a place of respect, Bucky.", his Mom told him.  
"Why?"  
"People come here to wish for something for others. You can do the same. Just make it count."  
Remembers asking how.  
"Pray for something other than for yourself."

Bucky finds himself grasping his hands together silently, the only witness, the quiet AC, and whoever was listening (if, there was even anyone who would be).  
"I don't think you've been listening. Not for a long time." Pauses. "I honestly don't blame you." Continues speaking. "But I'm just...asking you. Please. Let her be okay. Whatever that means for me later. "Just..."holds back the wall he's been keeping up since earlier tonight. "Don't let anything happen to her."

A thousand memories comes back to him all at once. That same voice again saying he might be the only one who knows these.

"Please."

Sits there for a little while more.  
The woman in front echoing in his mind. "Cant hurt to try."  
He'd try anything. Give anything.

He got up, going back to the waiting room.

No matter the cost to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by John Cale's cover of "Hallelujah"
> 
> As always, Thank You so much for reading :)


End file.
